September 16

All at Once or Not At All. *

I did a thing.

A fairly stupid thing.

An impulsive thing.

It goes without saying that this was an ill-considered thing.

While doing laundry.

A friend pointed out that it’s difficult for most people to accomplish this sort of mischief while doing laundry, but what can I say, y’all? I’m a multi-tasker. While the wash was agitating, I went around the corner to the Big Lots – to get a shower curtain, which I never did look at – and saw this…thing.

It was large.

Extremely ugly.

Also, exceedingly brown.

Just…the brownest brown.

Have I mentioned that I’m virulently anti-brown, as a rule?

Right on cue, up sidled an employee. “That’s something, isn’t it?” she asked, casually.

“That’s one way to put it,” I replied, dazzled by the drab.

“It’s on clearance. Returned. Too big for their space.”

“I can see how that’d be,” I commented absently, caught in its muddy vortex.

“Comfortable, though. Give it a try,” said the spider to the fly.

You know what comes next, which is this:

The big, ugly, brown chair. But the cats love it.

They gave me an extra 10% to take it NOW, and when I protested it wouldn’t fit in the car, they showed how it comes apart. Two kids shoehorned it in my car, where it took up every square inch. Getting it out of the car to the front hallway nearly killed me, and how it gets upstairs to the office/bedroom is something of a mystery at this point.

But ohmygod, is it the most comfortable thing I ever sat in. And half off! Plus 10%!

So where’s it going to live?

Well, that’s another issue entirely. About a year ago- more than that, come to think of it- my sister asked me, and I quote: “Are you a moron?” The answer, apparently being… kinda?

Here I have a large bedroom with a brand new king sized bed, waiting to be dealt with, and instead of dealing with it, I continue to sleep on the broken down, 14 year old memory foam (that had a 6 year warranty)little mattress in the small bedroom. The emotional reasons for this are somewhat complicated, but the practical ones are that it needs a LOT of work.

But I did do the offshoot room, the little office, and that was a big job, okay?

But to do the bedroom…carpets needed removal, then something to replace it, painting of walls and furniture, that horrible pitiful light needs replacing, on and on and on…and the scale is daunting.

I mean…look:

And yet, there’s now the world’s most comfortable, if supremely ugly, chair to consider, with no place for it to go…other than taking up the entire entryway. So my needle has gone from the “nothing” side to the buried-in-the-red “all” side, just like that. And that’s often how it happens. Last year I took several days off of work** and accomplished much in a short space of time, so I put in for 3 days off that, combined with the weekend gives me the better part of a week to deal with this.

And just to add a little spice to the mix- in case also working full time, plus dealing with the IRS and everything else at once isn’t enough…if I can get enough done before my days off in the first week of October, maybe we’ll actually go away for a night or two instead. I haven’t spent a single night out of the house in 2 1/2 years, so that’s a worthy goal.

All because of a big, ugly chair.

* As for the cover image, not 100% applicable. But where energy/motivation = glass contents, it sort of works. Also, one of my favorite Pratchett quotes, so like a cat that decides “if I fits, I sits…”

** It must be something about this time of year, because the day after I posted this, the “on this day” feature started popping up pics of exactly this time last year, and what I accomplished in those 3 days. It gives me hope for the 3 days I’ll be taking this year:

1st/2nd floor steps: carpets removed, sanded, painted, new hallway flooring: