Went out to lunch with a friend today, and heard words coming out of my mouth I’ve said too often: “I’m trying to get back to being myself again.”

We’d been discussing changes the last years have wrought, including traumas, disappointments, places both literal and figurative that neither of us would’ve pictured ourselves in.

And suddenly the absurdity of the phrase was so clear. How on earth can you “get back” to someone who no longer exists? Who’s gone through fire and flood, been to hell and not-quite-back? Do you pretend it hasn’t happened so you return to being that other person?

Not realistic. And to try would be to deny the lessons learned along the way. Time for a new phrase. And a new phase.