I did a thing.

A fairly stupid thing.

An impulsive thing.

It goes without saying that this was an ill-considered thing.

While doing laundry.

A friend pointed out that it’s difficult for most people to accomplish this sort of mischief while doing laundry, but what can I say, y’all? I’m a multi-tasker. While the wash was agitating, I went around the corner to the Big Lots – to get a shower curtain, which I never did look at – and saw this…thing.

It was large.

Extremely ugly.

Also, exceedingly brown.

Just…the brownest brown.

Have I mentioned that I’m virulently anti-brown, as a rule?

Right on cue, up sidled an employee. “That’s something, isn’t it?” she asked, casually.

“That’s one way to put it,” I replied, dazzled by the drab.

“It’s on clearance. Returned. Too big for their space.”

“I can see how that’d be,” I commented absently, caught in its muddy vortex.

“Comfortable, though. Give it a try,” said the spider to the fly.

You know what comes next, which is this:

They gave me an extra 10% to take it NOW, and when I protested it wouldn’t fit in the car, they showed how it comes apart. Two kids shoehorned it in my car, where it took up every square inch. Getting it out of the car to the front hallway nearly killed me, and how it gets upstairs to the office/bedroom is something of a mystery at this point.

But ohmygod, is it the most comfortable thing I ever sat in. And half off! Plus 10%!

So where’s it going to live?

Well, that’s another issue entirely. About a year ago- more than that, come to think of it- my sister asked me, and I quote: “Are you a moron?” The answer, apparently being… kinda?

Here I have a large bedroom with a brand new king sized bed, waiting to be dealt with, and instead of dealing with it, I continue to sleep on the broken down, 14 year old memory foam (that had a 6 year warranty)little mattress in the small bedroom. The emotional reasons for this are somewhat complicated, but the practical ones are that it needs a LOT of work.

But I did do the offshoot room, the little office, and that was a big job, okay?

But to do the bedroom…carpets needed removal, then something to replace it, painting of walls and furniture, that horrible pitiful light needs replacing, on and on and on…and the scale is daunting.

I mean…look:

And yet, there’s now the world’s most comfortable, if supremely ugly, chair to consider, with no place for it to go…other than taking up the entire entryway. So my needle has gone from the “nothing” side to the buried-in-the-red “all” side, just like that. And that’s often how it happens. Last year I took several days off of work** and accomplished much in a short space of time, so I put in for 3 days off that, combined with the weekend gives me the better part of a week to deal with this.

And just to add a little spice to the mix- in case also working full time, plus dealing with the IRS and everything else at once isn’t enough…if I can get enough done before my days off in the first week of October, maybe we’ll actually go away for a night or two instead. I haven’t spent a single night out of the house in 2 1/2 years, so that’s a worthy goal.

All because of a big, ugly chair.

* As for the cover image, not 100% applicable. But where energy/motivation = glass contents, it sort of works. Also, one of my favorite Pratchett quotes, so like a cat that decides “if I fits, I sits…”

** It must be something about this time of year, because the day after I posted this, the “on this day” feature started popping up pics of exactly this time last year, and what I accomplished in those 3 days. It gives me hope for the 3 days I’ll be taking this year:

1st/2nd floor steps: carpets removed, sanded, painted, new hallway flooring:

Upstairs hallway: carpet removed, cleaned, new flooring:

Revolting but useful table: (1st pic in collage is *after* cleaning and sanding. Never did tile before in my life…

Several awful lights replaced (those butterflies…):

The new plan is that once a “weekend” (my days off being Thurs/ Friday) we will do A Thing. Get out of the house, do something fun, something different, no matter what. After a rocky start at the beginning of the summer we’ve finally begun exploring our “new” environs.

This week’s outing was to Storm King Mountain’s Art Center. I knew it was a huge sculpture garden (500+ acres huge), but not how very very abstract it is.

I have come across this problem before, where abstract art makes me feel rather… unsophisticated. This, for example, is called Iliad:

Why, yes, the fall of Troy is exactly what that brought to mind? hmmm…

But then there’s “Frog Legs”

Which, while visually interesting, left me tilting my head like a dog that doesn’t quite understand what you’re trying to tell it. One suspects the artist did this on purpose. I can never quite shake the feeling that we’re playing a surprise game of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” with this sort of thing.

The scope of the place is amazing, and if anything made the massive sculptures pale in comparison to their even more impressive surroundings, which is built in as a feature, not a bug. There are references to global warming, mother nature, and our impact on the earth everywhere- the curators definitely consider the grounds to be the largest canvas, cultivating wild grasses and flowers everywhere.

The day was gorgeous, and I’m glad we went, even if it left me feeling a little provincial with more of an appreciation for the nature than the art.

I genuinely loved several things at Storm King, although possibly not in the way the artist intended- my fav was a bronze fountain that I dubbed “Even Cthulhu gets thirsty:”

It’s a little hard to see, but it’s melty bronze in different shapes and watching the water come down in constantly changing patterns was mesmerizing. A fountain is on next year’s garden to-do list, so we may have to try some form of recreation here.

Also very relaxing was the kinetic sculpture “Sea Change,” which we watched for a long time:

George Cutts speaks about his sculpture Sea Change at Storm King from Storm King Art Center on Vimeo.

After spending hours listening to people wax rhapsodic at the Art Center (well, not so much ‘people’ as the tram’s guided tour), for dinner we ended up down the road apiece in Fort Montgomery, just outside of West Point.

It was a down n’ dirty place, same owner for over 25 years, same ancient clattery cash register that I desperately wish I’d thought to take a picture of (“It’s a genuine National! You usedta couldn’t get parts for it, but now they’re collectable, so it’s all on eBay,” the barmaid of 30 years said with amazement). Cash only, and it being a non-weekend night the only food on offer was Sysco’s finest, but fried up hot and brought out quick.

And it was the first and only time my Jack and Coke was proffered with a bendy straw:

And served with a flag paper placemat, because West Point, duh.

All in all, I’m a big fan of big contrasts, so it was a great day.